Fangala the Flying Feline

Yay, I love horses too! About this poem, I can definitely see your passion, but it's a little choppy and hard to read. I count the steps I play a ...

Ooh, this is good, Seraph! My only complaint is that you introduce too many characters too quickly. They're good characters, but Nova should have more in-depth interactions with them before ...

Oh my, such potential I see! Although, I think this should be posted in lyrics, just because of the repeated verse. That verse, by the way, is quite lovely in ...

Yay, faeries! This is great, and I loved how you rhymed "polka" with "gondolas." (I don't think anyone's done that before.) In the night, under the moon, Nature's beauty carries ...

This is well-written, with a perfect amount of prose--just enough to add beauty but not to much to make the reader constantly flip through a dictionary of metaphors. There are ...

Beautiful imagery, but the rhyme scheme is a little jerky. Life is like a cloud, it comes and it goes. Like a cotton or wool puff, When through the wind ...

Hi, BBB! Sorry I haven't posted for a while. Anyway, as always it was very good, but I still think you should use more contractions. But your dialogue is improving ...

Yay! Your writing makes me happy! You're very good with characterization; I can clearly picture everything your characters do. And the last scene was wonderfully spooky. It sort of reminded ...

Hi, Pawprint! I love your writing and I'm always eager to read more. For this story, I agree with Gwen that you repeated words a lot, like in that certain ...

Hello, Oh Mighty Reviewer of Death. :) First off, you need to post this in normal font; it's difficult and distracting to read as it is. Secondly, you've gone WAY ...

Very suspenseful, lots of foreshadowing. The only complaint I have is the very last scene, when Christian falls to his knees and starts crying. That just doesn't work for me. ...

The scene between Christian and Kevin is forced; something about it doesn't work. Maybe it would be more realistic if Christian succumbed to peer pressure instead of getting all preachy ...

This just gets more incredible. It's like your writing made an overnight shift. The dream scene was swift and suspenseful, and your character's emotions deepen with each chapter. My only ...

Ha, very cool. I think your dialogue is becoming more realistic. Just a couple suggestions for this part. Coffee is not "immensely" hot. "Immensely" refers to something being huge or ...

I like the way this story is developing. However, you need to work on showing and not telling. We know that Christian hates John's guts. But you don't need to ...